REUNION CENTRAL

NEW MEMBER REGISTRATION

AN EDUCATIONAL TREATISE

To prove that one really understands what he learns, he must he able to apply the principles. Hence we demonstrate our knowledge of subjects we have studied by using language appropriate to them.

 The science teacher, DISCOVERING his students, exerts KINETIC ENERGY trying to learn the classes' POTENTIAL ENERGIES. He usually overcomes the MENTAL INERTIA, starts CEREBRAL ACCELERATION and thus begins the ACTION and REACTION. The teacher's EAR DRUM is VIBRATED by what he expects to be an answer, but is a related question. This DISPLAY contradicts the LAW OF MACHINES (work input equals work output disregarding friction) because there was no OUTPUT and excessive FRICTION. The teacher's EFFORT isn't great enough to overcome the RESISTANCE, and his preconceived PRINCIPLES which he thought a MECHANICAL ADVANTAGE become a MENTAL DISADVANTAGE. Now with teacher and students confused, one questions who is the WHEEL and who is the AXLE? SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST is now at hand and due to the teacher's TROPISM to SPONTANEOUSLY accommodating students with the SYMBOL of OXYGEN, the BALANCE OF NATURE remains.

 The history department CAMPAIGNING to promote FRIENDLY RELATIONS between teacher and students welcomes information and questions by the latter. STRATEGIC students therefore CAPITALIZE on this PROVISION and ask questions when the teacher is staging a SNEAK ATTACK of INVESTIGATING homework. Through the ALLIED efforts of the students, the question is usually an involved one and the teacher wishes to REFUSE TO ANSWER ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT MIGHT INCRIMINATE HIM, but unavoidably begins to FILIBUSTER. ORATION completed, an UNCIVIL WAR of opinions begins. The teacher ARBITRATES the discussion in a DEMOCRATIC fashion following PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE. Pros and cons expressed, he begins to show the CONSTITUTIONALITY of each statement as the bell rings. The students CEASE FIRE as it is against UNION REGULATIONS to think at the sound of the bell.

 The PROBLEM of the math department is to DISPROVE THE AXIOM that math is a subject for SQUARES. Thus a TRIANGLE is CONSTRUCTED of an enthusiastic teacher, students with no INTEREST and a coming regents exam. The type of TRIANGLE VARIES DIRECTLY according to the DEGREE of influence of the ANGLES. Thus we begin with an OBTUSE TRIANGLE, the teacher the OBTUSE ANGLE trying to convince his students that math is a prime FACTOR of life. CONVERSELY the students feel that it is THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS, life and death. The regents, the smallest of the angles, serves as MEDIAN between these two ideas. The student's POWER of REASONING alters the LEGS of the triangle to a RIGHT TRIANGLE as he's REDUCED the teacher's influence to LOWER TERMS, resulting in a SCALENE TRIANGLE because the teacher can CALCULATE no PRINCIPLE to CHECK or PARALLEL that of the students. At this point EUCLID has CIRCUMSCRIBED his grave and the teacher seeking a ROOT to a SERIES of ideas to uphold the noble field of mathematics, by slow PROGRESSION, EXPANDS his persuasiveness and the triangle becomes EQUIANGULAR as students, teacher and regents have BALANCED positions.

                               Millicent Henry

JUNE 1953

15

 

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